The Universe owes me nothing, and yet it gave me everything.

I have this tattooed on me for a reason. I believe it is probably one of the key pillars to true contentment in life and a wonderful reminder to stay grounded. What does this piece of wisdom mean exactly?

When we are born (humans specifically), we are only “owed” or guaranteed five things: life (and all of its necessary biological processes), death, a mother, a father, and consciousness.

Anything that comes after those five things are no where written on the Life Handbook to be guaranteed. After those five things, it is all chance. This goes from getting home safely from the hospital as a baby to being born healthy to having a loving mother and father. There exists infinite possible lives in which the one you are currently experiencing is void from existing, leaving joy or suffering up in the air as volatile as anything else.

The fact that I can see color, I’ve never gotten in a car wreck, I have a loving family who supports me, I was born into a safe area with financial security, I can walk on my two legs and feet, etc. is an incredible blessing that is not owed to me for any reason. The Universe has allowed me to experience these things with full dignity, and for that I am eternally grateful.

For me, just being aware of this idea grants me more eternal love for everything the Universe has to offer. The fact that I have the brain capacity and capability to learn about amazingly interesting topics is something that is such a blessing, something that was not owed to me. I could have just as easily been born with a mental disorder in which my brain capacity was stunted, disallowing me to learn about what I love, a capacity in which it is even impossible for me to hold this idea as it is.

However, I think an important question one might ask in regards to this piece of wisdom is, does this apply to everyone? Does this apply to a Jewish person who was in Germany during Nazi occupation? Does this apply to the kid who got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer? Does this apply to the person who was born blind and deaf, who can never experience beauty like almost everyone else? To me, the answer is just as easily a yes.

I think it’s important to establish that when we see others suffering, we really like to judge their situation based on our own preconceived axioms based on our specific lives and conditioning. Like, it’s really easy to judge a blind person and say “oh my god that must be so hard, thank goodness I’m not blind.” And there is some truth to that, being blind does make life harder, and most of us are really thankful we are not blind (see above). But for the blind person, especially those who have been blind since birth, their situation is probably not that bad compared to the fantasy we have in our minds about what it might be like to be blind. What I’m trying to say is, humans are really really good at adaptation. Especially adaption to situations in which we think we might suffer greatly in, when in reality it is just a matter of adjustment. Of course, this isn’t to say people who suffer greatly should just adapt and get over it. I have immense empathy and compassion for those who deal with incredibly hard things and deal with deep suffering. However, it would be a denial of reality to say that these people should not be eternally grateful for the things they are not owed that doesn’t bring deep suffering.

This brings up an important topic of attachment to the reality we think we are going to live. We all (hopefully) have goals we want to achieve as we age and we have an idea in our mind of what we want our life to be like whether that be from 6 months or 60 years from now. However, I actually think this is quite a dangerous mindset that pretty much only sets you up for failure. Of course, it is important to have goals and ideas of your future in mind as they guide you, give you purpose, give you meaning, etc. but an unwavering attachment to these things is probably unhealthy. I’m going to borrow from Buddhism and remind you that attachment is the root of all suffering. Attachment1 to future fantasies that do not exist pretty much only guarantees suffering, and is more restrictive than you probably think. Again, we are owed nothing. You could get in a car crash tomorrow and become paralyzed, you could randomly have a stroke and become hospitalized, your mother or father or sibling or anyone else in your life could pass away at any moment, like a blip in the machine of life. All of these are possibilities, as nothing is owed to us, especially not the security of our futures.

To make my point clear: nothing is owed to us, what we currently posses and what our future will posses. We like to think based on people around us, television shows, movies, the media, etc. that everything will work out fine. Hopefully we’ll get married have a family, maybe travel, have a decently peaceful death, etc. right? No! This is a delusion! It’s a false sense of attachment to a future that is not owed or guaranteed. Of course, I realize we get attached to our future for many reasons including security, anxiety, etc. but that is not my point.

We should shift our perspective: nothing is owed, everything is a gift. Every minute, every second, every color you can see, every piece of music you can hear, every time you have a conversation with a loved one, all the moments between birth and death, all of these are supreme gifts given to us that we should recognize everyday, and they are as volatile as the seconds that pass.

Notes

  1. “Attachment is a compulsion that screams, “I must have what I desire if I am to be happy.” Desire is simple wanting, attachment is a compulsive necessity.” - Roger Walsh